Redefining Relationship Dynamics

You’ve been hopeful, yet nothing changes.

Everything started great. It was exciting. However, as time elapsed, the love or passion subsided.

You tell yourself you love your partner, yet you also daydream of ending the relationship and ‘moving on.’ You’ve thought about how life could be ‘without them.’ Yet, you stay and continue a dynamic that feels unfulfilling.

You’ve also started to worry about your future options.

“What if this is a mistake and I just need to give it more time? What if it’s me? What if…?”

You have questions. You have doubts.

This relationship is important to you, and you’re not ready to end it.

Mary* has been married to her college sweetheart for ten years. They’ve always wanted a family, yet they still live at her mother’s home and have been unable to get pregnant again. Their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, which has been an emotional rollercoaster since then. Mary has felt unsupported at different intervals. Their sex life has become a to-do list. She’s angry and suspects her husband is depressed. She comes to counseling seeking assistance in shifting her dynamic within her relationship.

Paul* began individual counseling sessions after sharing a series of infidelities with his wife. He loves his wife yet wants to explore the possibility of an open marriage. His wife is not having it. He’s confused and wants to figure out what he wants for himself and his relationship.

Relationship struggles come in all sizes and shapes.

As an adult, you’ve probably been involved in more than one relationship. By now, you’ve confirmed that communication can be a tricky road.

Family relationships can be difficult, too.

You’ve judged, shamed, and felt anger toward your parent, sibling, or family member.

You wonder why can’t they see the pain you’re carrying?

You love your family, yet certain relationships have become harder and harder to maneuver.

Christa* grew up with what she calls a ‘narcissistic’ mom. As long as she can remember, her mother has been ‘co-dependent’ on her partners, leaving Christa feeling alone, unseen, uncared for, and constantly worried about her mother’s well-being. Christa witnessed her mother engage in abusive relationships throughout her formative years. Most of the time, she felt she was the parent to her mother. As an adult, she carries anger toward her mother and is unsure how to shift that feeling. She wants a healthy relationship with her mother. She hopes for one.

Kevin* is an amazing father. He’s happily married yet has barely any contact with his father. He describes his father as having been verbally and physically abusive to him as a child and teen. His father demanded nearly perfection from Kevin. If not, a beating awaited. Kevin moved in with his mother as a teen once she could provide for him. His mother felt like a stranger as well. They were separated for many years. He even described feeling abandoned by her. Kevin doesn’t want his history to impact his parenting. He is committed to exploring his anger, resentment, and feelings of abandonment to show up for his family and explore a different dynamic with his parents.

Relationships are an opportunity for growth.

In Christa’s and Kevin’s scenarios, both adults yearned for a different connection with their parents.

They became aware of how such emotions still carried a charge for them and how said charge impacted, subtly or more directly, their day-to-day interactions with their partners or children.

Subsequently, it also brought them down as individuals as they noticed the impact of their parental relationships.

The past can be confusing when processed through just one lens.

The meaning you give a moment, experience, or our history becomes your lens, your filter. In every relationship, at least two lenses are used when explaining the dynamic between individuals.

At the moment of the occurrence, your mindset and understanding of the situation might have differed from the one you hold now. Allowing yourself to explore your relationships through different perspectives or ‘lenses’ facilitates the integration of information that previously might have been dismissed or left unprocessed.

By taking the time you apply new perspectives, your self-concept can change and the way you define those involved with you.

By processing the past, we pave the way for deep communication.

Let me show you different lenses to consider. You choose which one serves you. I intend to bring clarity to aspects of yourself that might not be allowed to self-express due to sadness related to these relationship challenges.

I’ll guide you through age regressions to recall imprints from your past that set the tone for how you now show up in your relationships. We’ll also explore your communication style through role-playing to strengthen your assertiveness within you.

Through a renewed sense of confidence, you’ll be open to new choices for connecting or engaging with others. Drawing exercises, amongst other activities, will also offer insight into repressed emotions.

I know you’re ready for a new sense of self and agency in your relationships.

Let me guide your path. It doesn’t have to be scary. I’ll support you.

Call me for a free consultation: (786) 571-6617.

*The names and stories above are composite narratives and have been changed for client confidentiality.